Twenty-five Signs You May Be a Pirate

You May Be a Pirate if…JANUARY ODYSSEY116

  1. … You’ve ever been thrown out of a baseball game because you stole one of the bases and you weren’t even playing.
  1. … After you brush your teeth, you g-Arrgh-le with rum.
  1. … Your friends keep telling you to take a shower.
  1. … All your pets are parrots.
  1. … The Lone Ranger was your hero, but you liked his horse Silver even more.
  1. … You’re the only one in your neighborhood with the Jolly Roger flying from your flagpole.
  1. … You have a bumper sticker on your car that says, “My other car is a pirate ship.”
  1. … You spend all your free time listening to Kenney Chesney or Jimmy Buffett music.
  1. … Instead of a savings account, you bury all your money in the backyard.
  1. … Your only camera is a Cannon.
  1. … While everyone else is shaking their booty to the music, you start jingling the coins in your pocket.
  1. … Your favorite game as a kid was Hide and Sneak.
  1. … Your favorite instrument is the steal guitar.
  1. … You think a baby boomer is a small cannon.
  1. … You’re willing to pay an arm and a leg for a bottle of rum.
  1. … You have a dog named Rover.
  1. … You only watch movies rated Aaarrrrrgh.
  1. … At church you always sing, “Preys the Lord!”
  1. …When you got your ears pierced, you paid a buccaneer.
  1. … You’re a plumber and you keep asking your helper for your wench.
  1. … The only book you’ve ever read was Treasure Island.
  1. … Instead of wearing sunglasses, you wear an eye patch.
  1. … You think Jolly Ranchers are candies made just for pirates.
  1. You can’t understand why the woman in the supermarket slapped you in the face when you complimented her on her broadside.
  1. Your favorite blog is Pirates, Mariners, and the Eternal Sea.

How did you do? Less than five and you’re no pirate at all. Six to ten and you’ll be pillagin’ and plunderin’ in no time with a little more practice. Fifteen correct and you must have a pirate ship waiting to whisk you away. Twenty correct and you deserve the Golden Doubloon Award. Let me dig into my pirate’s chest. I think I have one in here somewhere. Oh, yeah! Here it is…

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